I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
