Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
