her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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