i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
