He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
