In the future we'll all be gay
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
