At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
