Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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