belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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