Is it normal to miss your booty call?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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