Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
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