Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Randomize
