he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
