Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize
