porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
