I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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