just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
