Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
well you can't waste a boner
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
