Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
