It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
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