things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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