Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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