last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
