Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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