508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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