"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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