And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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