it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
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