It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
