I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
