I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
This baby is an asshole
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Randomize
