oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
