I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
