I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Success! We fucked roommates!
We need to feng shui this bitch.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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