Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.

Fav 6 930 2024
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(734): View more from Michigan

i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.

Fav 19 9519 1029
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(518): View more from New York

i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??

Fav 4 1848 817
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(585): View more from New York

Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right

(631): View more from New York

Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15

(585): View more from New York

hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos

Fav 8 2450 880
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(480): View more from Arizona

I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before

Fav 12 1144 1904
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(513): View more from Ohio

As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.

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(907): View more from Alaska

Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work

(1-907): View more from Alaska

Be there in 4 minutes

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(914): View more from New York

I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses

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