So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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