I would go down on you faster than GM stock
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
