the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
