FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
