Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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