she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
