I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
