No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
