he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
