Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
