My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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