Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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