Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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