i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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