Whoa Z and x make the same sound
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
