I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
