Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
We left an ass print on the piano.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
The cops high fived after they tackled you
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Randomize
