you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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