Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
