It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
