i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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