i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize