hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
He? As in you personified your dick?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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