i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
You need Xanax blowdarts
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Randomize