I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
